My father is a werewolf. So is my mother’s mother. That makes me three-quarters werewolf, and only one-quarter regular guy. But, lucky for me, three-quarters isn’t enough to actually transform into a wolf. I just feel kind of funny when there’s a full moon. I’m a little out of it and can’t quite focus.

We keep a cage in the living room. Every month, we lock my dad inside it until he turns back into a man. He doesn’t have to see the full moon to become a wolf. Even if he were deep in a mine or something, he would change. And he doesn’t change suddenly, like they do in the movies. A day or two before the moon is really full, he starts getting hairier, his fingernails get pointier, and his face starts changing shape. When that happens, he goes home and gets in the cage and waits for me or my mom to come home and lock it. By the time the moon is full, he looks pretty much like what you think of as a werewolf: not really a wolf, more of a hairy monster with big teeth and long arms and legs.

He howls a lot. When the neighbors started getting suspicious, we bought a dog to blame it on. The dog’s pretty scared of my dad and won’t go anywhere near him, even when he’s in his human form.

I asked my dad what it’s like to be a wolf. He said it’s all right, but he can’t really remember too much once he turns back to a human. He wishes he didn’t have to be locked up, though. As a wolf, what he wants more than anything is to run around free. He says he wouldn’t eat anyone, but my mom says her mother said the same thing but then she ate a little girl who came to the door selling girl scout cookies.

I think that if I’m rich someday, I’ll buy some land and fence it in for my dad to run around in when there’s a full moon. I know if I were a wild animal, that’s what I’d want. Maybe it could be a werewolf retreat where werewolves from all over could go for those few days a month. They could play together and wrestle and stuff.

And, when I’m really old, I want to let a werewolf bite me. Just so I can know what it’s like to be one before I die. Watching my dad sit there in his cage sometimes, he looks so happy and peaceful, like he understands everything in the universe, like there’s nothing more wonderful in the world than being a werewolf.