I once saw a chimpanzee running around loose in a park. It wasn’t bothering anyone. In fact, it was entertaining a poodle, whose owner was dozing in the sun. The chimp and poodle were playing fetch and tug-of-war.

I found a couple of cops on a path and told them about the chimpanzee. They knew all about it. They said it wasn’t breaking any laws so there was nothing they could do. I pointed out that chimps are endangered and should probably be watched over and cared for. The policemen weren’t impressed.

"I’m sorry, sir," one of them said. "That ape’s got rights, just like you and me. I checked it out last week. It hasn’t done anything. It doesn’t even have any points on its license."

"The chimp has a driver’s license?" I asked.

"Sure. Why not?" he answered. "Now, if there’s nothing else we can do for you...."

I sat down in the grass near the owner of the poodle. She raised her head and looked at me.

"I hope you don’t mind if I sit here," I said.

"It’s a free country," she answered, shrugging.

"Is that your dog playing with the chimpanzee?" I asked.

"Yeah. What of it?"

"Nothing," I said. "Just, don’t you think it’s strange that a chimp is running around free?"

"No. Why shouldn’t it? It works and pays its taxes like everyone else. Everyone needs to relax in the park once in a while."

"The chimp pays taxes?"

"Sure. I should know. I’m its accountant."

"What’s its job?" I asked.

"Investment banking," she answered. "I think it manages a mutual fund or something."

"Wow," was all I could say. I expected the "You’re on Candid Camera!" guy to jump out from behind a tree any second.

"Now, if you don’t mind, I was napping."

"Sorry," I said and stood up.

My motion must have caught the chimpanzee’s attention because it loped over to me, with the yapping poodle trailing. The chimp held out its right hand so I shook it and said, "Pleased to meet you." It grunted in response. Then it reached into a black fanny-pack strapped to its waist and pulled out a business card, which it handed to me.

I read, "Gregory Driggs, Analyst -- Franks, Driggs, & Koppel Investments."

"You seemed to be having a good time with that poodle, Mr. Driggs," I said.

The chimp grunted again and patted the dog on the head. Then it tossed a stick for it to retrieve. The dog ran off and the chimp, scratching its belly, stood and watched. Finally, it waved goodbye to me and walked over to retrieve the stick, which the poodle had been unable to find.

I sat on a bench and watched them play for another fifteen minutes. Then, with the business card in my hand, I walked home. Several times on the way, I considered throwing the card into a trash can, but I couldn’t, somehow. Now I’m glad that I didn’t. Although I go to that park three or four times a week, I’ve never seen the chimpanzee, the poodle, the woman, or the policemen again. I still haven’t tried to call Franks, Driggs, & Koppel. Honestly, I doubt that I ever will.